So my last year of school is starting soon......Yay, I guess.
I know I should be excited, and don't get me wrong, I am. But, I'm also scared, sad, and have no clue what I'm going to do after it's over......I go from being happy, to so stressed I want to pull out my hair, to wanting to cry.....All in about ten seconds. As I'm typing this I'm crying, can anyone say 'Emotional mess'?
I don't know if that's normal, heck I don't think I ever know what is normal.......It's not like I'm getting ship off to some school in a different state, I'll still be at home....I'll have to get a job, because as of right now I don't want to go to collage, and I don't feel like I'll ever want too. I'd rather work, and make money, than have to suffer through another four+ years of school.
I just want to cry, and I want someone to hold me and tell me it's Okay to be scared of graduating, and that it's okay to cry. To grieve something that's been part of my life for 12 years, (13 if you count kindergarten....)
But.....I feel like no one would understand what I'm going through.......
It's just hard to imagine something you've been working toward for years, something you've been wanting, is so close you can almost touch it.....And suddenly, you don't want it anymore. You want it to go away, just for a little while. So you can be a teenager without a care in the world for just awhile longer.....Before you have to become an adult.
I don't want to be an adult yet. I want to be a sixteen year old......I just really want to be just a sixteen year old. Not a sixteen year old who's graduating next June.